[yasr_overall_rating]
A grandson documents the sordid past of his grandmother and the emotional damage she inflicted on her sons.
The story of Tom Fassaert sweeps in and out of the Netherlands, South America, and Holland to share the painful history of his family, previously left to collect dust in the past. Tom films his family and Claudio Hughes edits this subtitled film spoken mostly in Dutch. The documentary darts around barely introducing members of Tom’s family before moving onto the next scene which is as equally elusive. Despite the constant movement, Tom endears himself and his father, Rob, instantly to the audience.
The story of the Fassaert family is supposed to be about the whole family but can be reduced to one person who believes herself to be the center of the world. Tom’s grandmother Marianne is quickly introduced and her presences as the source of the family’s disreputable past is made apparent. Marianne proves to be a woman unable to ignore with her vanity fully displayed by her grandson’s vigilant camera. Her appearance is the epitome of her existence along with ignoring the past and the myriad of mistakes she piled up leaving people destroyed in her wake.
The movie starts with the ending before veering into a conversation between Tom and his grandmother about a trip to Holland and what she expects to find there as she seeks only to say goodbye to a family she knows will be ungrateful to see her again. The narration seamlessly shifts between candid video of Marianne and breathing life to his and his father’s memoirs. Tom was raised in Holland along with his two sisters and parents until the grandmother (Marianne), he never knew of, arrives to decimate their close-knit family. She offers a job to her estranged son in South Africa; he uproots his family to follow the mother whose approval he is still seeking. Four years later Robb and his wife divorce when Marianne pulls the job and disappears from his life again.
Rob’s heartrending record of his childhood explains why he still calls his mother mommy as she has repeatedly abandoned him and his brother Rene. As toddlers, Rene and Rob lost their mother when she dropped them off at a children’s home penniless and off to see her career as a semi-famous model. Their father disappeared never to be heard from again. Stunning photos capture Marianne in her hour of glory which she believes to be still on her personal clock. At 95 years old, the camera records her love affair with cameras strewn throughout her house along with her never-ending attention to her makeup, hair, and attire. Rene was the result of a casual fling which her father forced into a marriage. Marianne never quite forgave her eldest for taking away the life she had always desired, along with his mental instability both from possibly autism and his mother’s apparent distaste for his presence in her life.
Rob accurately described life with his masked mother as unorganized chaos. In an effort to give her the attention she so ardently desires he tries to document her life in a book but she refuses to tell her tale until Tom makes the request. Her unnatural feelings for her grandson leave him uncomfortable as he endeavors to express he finds her fascinating without encouraging her vain delusions. Tom becomes the only family she accepts writing her own son out of her will in her unrequited affections for her grandson. Tom uses her endearment towards him to slowly piecemeal her account including a father who is probably the source of her vanity and her lack of emotional attachment to her own children.
The film culminates in a reunion with Marianne’s sons and grandchildren where she and Rob finally make the familial connection he entire spent his entire life pursuing. With the trip over Tom documents the awkward affections his grandmother displays in jealousy over his girlfriend. The film ends with her story left in bits and pieces as a stroke drives her to a loss of her functions.
“A Family Affair” was hard to watch in its unabashed truth so accurately displayed. I felt as if I was peeking through the door and eavesdropping on conversations I had no right to participate in. Many questions were left unanswered as Tom was only able to glean the information his grandmother was willing to share. This sordid tale did little to allow the family to understand themselves better or move on from the mistakes made in the past, but the realistic nature of the documentary was all absorbing and well worth the watch to understand how quickly mistakes can spiral out of control into chaos, breaking hearts on their rampage to destroy.
In select theaters now
