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DVD Review: Disney’s “Descendants 2” Is A Descent Into The Abyss Of Adolescent Angst And Self-Adoration

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Mal returns to the Isle of the Lost to find her archenemy Uma, the daughter of Ursula, teaming up with Harry, the son of Captain Hook, and Gil, the son of Gaston.

The Descendants are the children of all the princes and princesses in the Disney tales, and also the children of the evil characters as well. The good descendants are all at the school Aurodon together getting ready for a royal cotillion, which basically means you’re engaged to be engaged to be engaged to your date. Meanwhile, the evil descendants are all banned to an isle of which Ursula’s daughter, Uma, is the self-proclaimed “queen.” However, Maleficent’s daughter, Mel, along with three others managed to escape to Aurodon. They are trying to become “good,” but Mel is struggling to feel real at being good.

But this take on a real-life generational sequel to “Maleficent,” “Mulan,” and “Prince Charming” is a mix of Mickey Mouse club kids with generously plump lips and perfect complexions, speed-reading spells, and a heavy saturation of intensely royal colors. In fact, you may even want to adjust the color saturation levels on your television, if you decide to watch this film, just so that you don’t get a headache from the psychedelic pandemonium of hues. In fact, this film would be more believable if these teenagers were the descendants of Angelina Jolie, Madonna, Johnny Depp, and the Backstreet Boys.

The songs and the choreography are catchy but are really just knock-off songs from real artists like Beyoncé and Michael Jackson. And the lip-syncing is muddled and completely off-putting for any actual enjoyment of the song. But, in all honesty, for teen audiences, the loud statements in clothing, the take-by-my-life attitudes, and the stompy dance numbers will probably hold appeal for that demographic. The film is over the top in hair dyes and eyelash extensions while completely lacking in quality acting or a real plot, but hey, it’s what we call “entertainment.”

There are some endearing moments and at least the film is not loaded with relationship drama that is inappropriate for young adults. If you can ignore the weak lip-syncing, the songs are actually really good. The talking dog is a funny twist and the finale is full of teenage triumph, rescuing the world. Just be young again when you watch this film and remember how much you fantasized about making a legendary difference with all of your pent-up virility, looking hot as shit while you do it.

Now available on Disney DVD

 

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